Gentle - it's a word I use a lot these days with the boys when they are a.)attacking each other b.)being too rough with their baby sister (then I use it with italics - gentle!) and c.)when they are damaging property (the house, their toys, etc.). It's also something I try to be with myself. How do we cultivate this gentleness, kindness, softness with ourselves? I guess the first place to start is noticing when we are not gentle. Even now, writing this first post, the critic and censor are in full effect. Notice them. Expect them - then they don't have quite so much sway when they make their mean little comments, their little jabs. And then get back to it.
So why are we doing this blog-thing anyway? To connect with each other. To write. To find a new way. To discover what brings us joy. To etch a new pattern deeply so that old patterns begin to fade without forcing them to leave. Something new is created so the old stuff drops away. So we create. Together we create something new.
Being gentle with ourselves on the yoga mat is also an important practice. For one we are (hopefully) more able to notice the critic, judge and censor than in daily life when the running commentary is the constant backdrop we're used to. In our yoga practice we are given the opportunity to notice. It is here that we can start to change the habits that have become unconscious. So what do we do when these thoughts, the voices in our heads, come? In some meditation and yoga practice the standard line is to "let the thoughts go" or some version of that. That is easier said than done especially in the beginning. When dealing with particularly negative, critical and damaging thoughts I think that it is helpful to reflect on your intention.
Why am I here? Why am I practicing or taking this class?
Is it to be better than other people? Is it to look good? Hopefully your only reason isn't to have a better body, have muscles, be flexible or the like (ahem). The physical benefits of asana practice are obvious and many. But the beauty and power of yoga comes from the joining of body, mind and spirit. The health of the body is fully integrated with the health of the mind and spirit and cannot be separated out.
When I am practicing I often find myself caught in the dialogue of the mind. Even in the noticing it stops. Right then and there, there is a pause in the stream on consciousness. Then I have a choice: I can let it continue or I can also stop it. Often when I notice it a small smile will cross my lips (a reaction which I cultivated) and then I move on. Relax. Breathe. Widen. Soften.
I also cultivate a gentleness in the physical practice. Being friendly to the body also allows it to open up and expand. So I go gently in my practice not pushing in the poses, not straining, not doing 100%, rather doing 70%. Finding the softness in the poses - this is what I love now. Where there is softness there is quiet.
(This isn't all there is to it, but that's it for now.)
